sometimes a dream is just that.

Have you ever given up on a dream? Seriously thought that you could attain it, only to find something blocking the way? Maybe it was an obstacle, or maybe it was the mind. I gave up my dream of wanting to be in the world of acting. I wanted to be involved with television comedy mostly. But I have given up that dream and there are a few reasons but the main one is how skinny most of the woman are in this business. Even worse is how many I see fall from a normal weight to super thin. Super thin used to be what I wanted to look like. Life looks easier somehow for people that have no weight on them. After years of recovering I truly see less beauty in the super  thin than I used to, it makes me super sad that so many girls/women in this business feel the need to attain such an unrealistic standard, they are contributing to the eating disorders of so many girls and women out there. Is it their fault:? To tell you the truth, I have no idea. Maybe a lot of these ladies also feel the pressure to reach this unataniable goal and once they have some money and resources they can actually attain it and perhaps rid themselves of this pressure... That was my fear, the giving in to pressure to look a certain way when I know I cannot achieve that in a healthy manner. I wouldn't want the fame that comes with acting, being watched in other areas of my life. I don't want the pressure to be a certain way, I just want to be me finally. I think that for now that means staying away from the pressures of that world. I can express my creativity and talent in many other ways, and maybe one day I will feel strong enough to try and live out that dream!